Hello again.  Eventhough I have been on a little time out ... the experiment is proceeding along ... but hopefully at a more manageable pace.  I am learning so much and a lot of it confuses me, but there are a few of you who are really helping me sort this out.  Again, I'd like to express my gratitude for all of you taking the time and sharing your thoughts and opinions.
So ... what do I think I've learned?  Well, I've been told by more than one person that I'm way TOO eager... and that I need to cool my jets.  So, I have been trying for the last couple of days ... I've been mostly successful... although I still feel like there have been missteps that could probably use correction, but there's no correction so I just fumble my way through. 
I am talking with someone who definitely gives me the dom vibe, and I have the most difficult time when we chat.  I'm constantly overanalyzing everything.   He makes me nervous... but ask me why and I can't even tell you.  My thoughts get scattered and I end up going silent.  I feel inadequate, but he never does or says anything that should make me feel that way.  He tries to lead me with thought-provoking questions ... but I end up feeling like I'm wasting his time. 
Now if we have chatted, I think you probably know that I am rarely at a loss for words.  Well, shoot... if you've read ANY of my posts... you know I talk a lot!  So to be tongue-tied is a bit disconcerting to me ... so any thoughts on THAT, my fine friends?
I also have a theory on why I keep switching ... its really NOT that I am a switching ... (and now I'm expecting some dom reading this to be rolling his eyeballs at me) ... its a byproduct of my personality.  Allow me to elaborate, and definitely feel free to blow my theory up, if you have an opinion. ... I'm open to it!
Anyway ... we all have secrets and I have a couple big ones that I don't just share.  It's privy info but I have shared some things with some people ... and therefore they may have a bit more insight ... for our discussion here ... you don't need to know... suffice it to say that my situation is complicated and there are many different layers to it all ... but really it's not the best and so what I think happens is ... I open up about my life ... and my playmates end up seeing what I'm working with and they inevitably feel bad for me ... and once that happens, there's something in the play that happens ... its the compassion and empathy ... and while I appreciate that and need that too, my brain picks up on it and I guess the credibility is lost?  As I get to know my playmates, I find myself "looking out" for them ... as an example... "it's getting late, you have work tomorrow... maybe we shouldn't play."  ... THIS is usually the context in which I start to top from the bottom... its only cause I'm worried about something else.

Can the d&s relationship be a timed thing?  Like ok ... starting now we are in those roles and then after play we are out?  Is that a thing?
I was trying to wait until Friday for my next play date (based on some friendly advice), but I didn't make it.  We played last night ... and it was amazing ... he decided that I should count orgasms last night ... that 7 number has become a point of interest for some of you ... but let me blow your brain ... my playmate isn't very good at counting and I got to the point where I couldn't remember what the number was ... I literally could NOT remember.  I can't go back to the audio because I can't stand to listen to myself... but he says I may have come close to 20 ... I don't know, all I know is that he drove every single thought straight out of my head ... and I slept like a baby ... not a care in the world.  And for that, thank you sir.  My mind needs the rest sometimes.
Well, boys and girls... that's where we are at.  Still working through it ... and so, so grateful for this community.   Let me hear your thoughts!