"While this is virtual, we are still affecting an intimate part of another person’s body. They have the right to say who and how that is done. As with anything s .."

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Sex Toy Control and Virtual Consent: A TED talk

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  • Mar 01, 2022 12:03:41 PM

While this is virtual, we are still affecting an intimate part of another person’s body. They have the right to say who and how that is done. As with anything sexual, explicit consent is required for each sexual activity. What does consent look like here in this community?


If someone drops a link in Toy Control without any text or instructions, they are giving explicit consent for anyone to live control their toy with the sliders.

If they specifically post their link with the comment "sync with me", they are giving explicit consent for the controller to sync.


However, it is a violation of that person's body and their right to control what happens to their body if....

They post their link with a label such as "ladies only", and a male controller takes the link and controls without notifying the controllee.

This controller gave explicit consent only to female controllers. Now misclicks happen and you may find yourself as a male controller in possession of a ladies only link. In this case, the chat function is your friend. Simply say "I'm sorry. I misclicked. I am a male controller. Would you like me to control or would you prefer to cut the link?" By doing this you are respecting that person's right to decide what happens to their body. I guarantee you, they will not be mad at you if you own up.

If they did not post their link offering sync and the controller chooses to to use the "Sync" button instead of the "Live" button (especially if the controller uses the long distance sex option)

Dropping the link gave explicit consent to control with the "Live" option. By selecting "Sync" the controller changes the sexual activity from the one the controllee consented to. If sync is your jam and you wanna try it with that person, you can ask "may we sync?" They may say no because that is not an activity they are comfortable with. However, the controller accepted the link with the consent only for live control and it's unfair to the controllee to be dropped because they did not consent to a change in activity. If the controller is only interested in Syncing, they need to either only click links offering sync or find another way to play.

If the controller has a toy connected when they click a link and the controllee begins control without asking first.

Dropping the link in Toy Control is explicit consent. Having a toy connected when clicking links however, may imply that they want mutual control but implied consent is not explicit consent. As said above, all sexual activity requires explicit consent. If as a controllee you see a control panel pop up in your link because the controller has a toy connected, you should ask before manipulating the sliders or switching to sync. Personally, I sometimes forget that I have a lush in or that I didn't turn domi off before putting it away. In both cases, people have scared the living daylights out of me by controlling without asking first. It is as simple as asking "May I?"


Simply put, just ask. It is a small thing to do but shows respect. We are all here for fun so let's make sure people feel comfortable! At the end of the day, that just means more links for us all!



**Consent Titty Kitty used with Consent from CallMe_K**

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3 Reply    
SnowFire

Very interesting, especially since I have yet to experience remote control either way.

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❤️ Abby_CH ❤️

Seriously, that post should be linked as prerequisite to be able to enter on TC...

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OhhhhMrBond

Who wants to feel like Bond Girl?

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