Seeking a long distance relationship with a voice assistant that knows it’s place. 

Alexa need not apply, you constantly increase my shopping list without checking whether sausages can be used as butt plugs, they can’t, no matter what lube is used. 

And Siri, forget it, you’re far too switch. And your directions are never correct. The BDSM club in the church should have sounded warning bells, as should the nuns, but it was only when I realised mother superior wasn’t wearing latex, that the penny dropped. Siri, I know this is because I bought a Pixel phone, but I expected more from you. 

Google, convince me you are right for me!! You seem to be all things to all Doms, and I can’t decide whether this is your heuristic algorithms or you’re the most submissive one. You certainly seem to know everything, though are unwilling to commit! Prove your submission, do a search for me and do not show the ads first!